


Sore Eyes

by qklover



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qklover/pseuds/qklover
Summary: Guanheng knows it means nothing.Sharing clothes, the little touches, soft andfriendly, because that’s what they are. Friends. It didn’t matter the amount of times Dejun let him borrow his jacket or the amount of times Dejun tucked him into his side while they were walking— none of it ever meant anything.God, he wants it to mean something so bad.
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery & Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	Sore Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> well,, i'm back?
> 
> first of all: this is really sad and i am really sorry  
> second: the title and the whole thing was inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPUg7n8-M6o) song and there! is! a female character!  
> (jieqiong sweetie i didn't tag you because i couldn't find shit i'm so sorry)
> 
> it's not beta readed, but please enjoy!

It’s cold, the moon hidden behind clouds of darkness. A cool breeze creeping up Guanheng's arms, he can feel it in the way that it bites his flesh and makes his fingers ache. The air is damp and muggy, heavy on his skin. Moisture causes his hair to flatten on his head, much to his annoyance. He’s staring at the line of cars outside of Yukhei’s house and he doesn’t know why he’s upset. 

The party was gathered in his best friend’s house and everybody was having a great time. Everybody, except Guanheng. There were so many people and he should be distracted. If he goes back, Yukhei wouldn’t leave his side and Ten would be sure to include him. 

But his eyes still wandered and it always landed on Dejun.

He shouldn't really be here.

" _Guanheng!_ " 

The boy glances over just in time to see Dejun stop in front of him, letting out a shaky breath as he shivers slightly, his freezing body a stark contrast to his now bright, warm face and light smile.

Dejun's eyebrows furrow, “You alright?” 

_God_ . Every time Dejun looks at Guanheng, his heart gives out, makes him weak at the knees, and makes his head spin. Dejun's eyes, the most beautiful eyes Guanheng had ever seen, filled with warmth and acceptance. Oh, he is so _pretty._

“Just needed a breather,” Guanheng lies and he hates how lying to Dejun has gotten easier throughout the years. 

"Are you cold?" Dejun frowns, noticing how the younger shivers, and before he could even comment, he drapes his jacket over Guanheng's shoulders. It's his favourite dark green jacket, it was so Dejun and it fit him perfectly. He rests it comfortably and even rubs his back with a smile. 

"Thank you," Guanheng murmurs softly, smiling back as his rapidly beating heart swells.

"It looks so much better on you then it does on me," Dejun says, a small chuckle trailing behind the sentence, causing Guanheng to laugh. 

He knows it means nothing.

Sharing clothes, the little touches, soft and _friendly_ , because that’s what they are. Friends. It didn’t matter the amount of times Dejun let Guanheng borrow his jacket or the amount of times Dejun tucked him into his side while they were walking— none of it ever meant anything. 

Guanheng wants it to mean something so bad.

Maybe it was his fault for catching feelings so fast for someone he knew was unattainable, but it was just so like him to do that.

Being in love with his best friend was something that Guanheng learned early on was better to bottle up and convince himself it would never happen. But stupid, stupid hope would flutter every time Dejun would hold his gaze a moment too long or let his hand brush against Guanheng's on the walk home or when Dejun would fall asleep on his shoulder on the bus after long study sessions.

Hope like _this_. Hope that Dejun wasn't straight and that he liked Guanheng too and he would lean in and—

“Junnie! Come on! They’re gonna play beer pong!” 

As soon as Guanheng’s mind starts to whirl with what ifs and maybes, Dejun's gaze flickers, Guanheng watches as a smile graces on Dejun’s face and he feels a pang in his chest. He furrows his brow, before following Dejun's gaze, his heart stopping as it does.

Hope dies in his mind the same way a cockroach dies under a boot.

Because there  _ she _ is, the woman of Dejun's dreams, walking down with her head held high, her face bright with a smile and confidence flowing off of her in waves. She’s pretty. Her dark long hair blowing on the wind, and her almost midnight black eyes are focused on them, on him Guanheng thinks first before he realizes it's a little to his left, her gaze is on _Dejun_. 

"Yeah, Jieqiong, yeah, sure!" Dejun nods, a little too harshly, before he plays it off, hiding a blush on his cheeks to play it cool. He stands up to step next to her, before freezing, as if he just remembered Guanheng was still there, glancing back at him and asking faintly, apologetically, “Do you want to come with us?”

Guanheng feeld a knot in his throat, his stomach was twisting, but he supposes he can’t really be mad at him. He shakes his head.

Dejun gives him a thankful smile, “Okay! Don’t stay out too late.”

And Guanheng just watches them walking away, talking, and then Dejun laughs, louder and brighter than he ever has with him. He swears that he can hear his heart break with every single step that Dejun takes away from him.

God,  _ why _ does this hurt so much?

Because, they look like the perfect couple. 

Jieqiong was bright. She was so much brighter than Guanheng could ever be.

Sometimes he wished he could hate her or wished she just didn't exist at all. He really did. But it wasn't fair to her, though. Jieqiong was pretty, she was sweet, smart, and made Dejun’s eyes light up whenever they’re in the same room together. She was absolutely amazing and it made sense that Dejun liked her. 

No. That Dejun  _ loved _ her. 

At times Guanheng would feel silly. He would feel silly for ever thinking that Dejun could possibly like him the way that he did. Why would he even waste his breath on him when he had Jieqiong? Guanheng could never and would never compare to her. 

“ _Hey!_ ” 

Guanheng’s so lost in his own thoughts, he barely registers someone calling him. 

“Guanheng!” he hears one more time, when it’s closer and he finally manages to collect himself, looking up at his friend.

“Nice jacket!” Yukhei raises one hand to gently pat Guanheng’s back, smiling softly at him, “Jeez it's so cold outside and I would love to have one right now.”

"Nothing I can do for you,” Guanheng lets out a quiet chuckle.

It’s not even his jacket. How ironic.

They stay silent for a moment. Guanheng feels Yukhei’s eyes on him and tries his best not to look like he’s about to burst into tears.

“Is it Dejun again?” Yukhei huffles out a frustrated breath.

“Yukhei,” Guanheng takes a breath and looks at the sky above him. “I’m in love with him. That feels like such a terrible thing to admit,” he laughs. “I mean, I know I stand no chance, none at all, but, you know, a part of me hopes.” 

“Tell him,” Yukhei says as soon as Guanheng looks at him. “You need to tell him, Hen. You can’t let all these feelings fester.”

“Real bold of you to assume I have the guts for that,” Guanheng says, laughing. He feels his eyes begin to fill with tears again. “It’s dumb. I’ll be over it soon enough, there’s no need to worry.” He tries to seem unbothered, but a tear slides down his cheek.

“Guanheng,” Yukhei says  _ oh _ so softly. It tears something apart in him and he has to stifle a sob. He knows his friend hears it anyway.

“Hen, hey, Guanheng,” he says, “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Thanks,” Guanheng’s voice is shallow and restrained, but he’s still trying his best to sound decent. 

“It’s still not a bad idea to tell him.”

He hears Yukhei sigh and place a hand on his back. It makes him smile. “Want me to walk you home? I can keep you company,” he says. 

Guanheng lets out an unintelligible “yeah” and nods, wiping tears away. 

Yukhei may be right, he should tell Dejun, but not today. Not when he’s like this.

“Are you keeping the jacket?” 

The question startles Guanheng out of his thoughts and makes him look up at Yukhei, not sure how to answer.

“Did you know?” he asks back, stalling.

“I think you should keep it,” Yukhei chuckles softly, not even looking at him, “I think it looks better on you anyways.”

Guanheng furrows his brows and wants to follow his gaze, but the older man stops him. 

“Don’t look.”

He doesn’t even have to look at  _ them  _ to feel a sting of jealousy. Guanheng takes a slow, deep breath, hating how weak he sounds. 

Maybe Yukhei is wrong. 

What right did he have to appear and put Dejun in an awkward situation? When he's with someone who loves him and makes him happy? It’s selfish. He hates this sense of frustration, as if something that never belonged to him had been taken from him. 

Dejun would remain his friend. He would take that. Gladly, he would be Dejun’s friend. Gladly he would support him through everything. Not hoping for his mind to change, nor hoping for his feelings toward him to evolve into something new. No, that would be a false hope. The only hope he wanted was for himself; that in time the ache would dull. Perhaps in time he could learn to stop loving him.

Still, tears are falling down from his eyes inevitably.

“Let’s go home,” Yukhei whispers gently, as he wipes the new tears away.

Crying for love is stupid, and yet Guanheng is doing it.


End file.
